


This Is My Heart, It's On The Line

by nationalnobody



Series: To The Middle Of Your Heart [1]
Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Cashton, Fluff, Love Letters, M/M, Pining/Semi-Angsty Calum
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2014-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-27 05:15:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2680445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nationalnobody/pseuds/nationalnobody
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke convinces Calum to confess his feelings to Ashton via a love letter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is My Heart, It's On The Line

Calum's never been too good with words, not when he needs them most in any case, and especially not in the field of love. He can deduce that much seeing as how he’s failing miserably at attempting to write this _love_ letter.

When Luke suggested the idea of it Calum had snorted and muttered a 'no way' but Luke had insisted that Ashton would surely appreciate it, reciprocate his feelings even. Calum doubted it but then, what did he have to lose? (Other than his pride) He'd be graduating in less than a month and he just really wanted to let Ashton know just how much he meant to him and if it was in the form of a sappy, lamely written love letter then so be it.

Calum taps the blue ballpoint pen against his desk, lined paper torn messily out of his exercise book lain out in front of him.

_How to start, how to start._

He sits there for a couple minutes, feeling unsure and ridiculous, nearly backs out even. His grip on the pen tightens and he lets himself be absorbed by the soft sound of Ed Sheeran playing from his phone which is on his unmade bed.

He doesn't really notice _when_ he begins writing, all he knows is that he _does_ and once he starts it seems he cannot stop.

* * *

Hey Ash,

I know it's kinda weird to receive a letter like this from me and I know that you probably aren't expecting it to be what it is. Before I really start rambling, let me just clarify that this is ~~as cheesy and pathetic as it sounds~~ a love letter. Luke planted the idea in my head and to be honest, I don't think I'd ever be able to actually confess like face to face...so now I guess I'm just writing this instead.

I've always thought you looked nice, kinda like sunshine?? does that make sense? I hope it does cause I don’t wanna sound any weirder than I do right now.

I know it’s a bit absurd for me to tell you this way but we don’t see each other all that much at school anymore since you left the soccer club and we’re both busy with studies. I mean we only see each other during music class or when Michael decides to make you sit with us at lunch or recess. We used to see each other a lot, especially year 11. I miss it, _I miss you._

Year 11…I think that’s when I started liking you? I’m not really sure. I gotta say though that I did kinda have a slight crush on you at first when Michael introduced you to me (and Luke) back in year 10 but that faded, I think it was an in the moment type of thing but then year eleven rolled around and you just helped me so much. I can’t say thank you enough for everything.  

You really don’t understand to what length you helped me out ~~I really~~ You helped me get my life back on track and you were so supportive and you even stood up for me. I was never really one for like _love_ and all that shit but you kinda just came along and everything just happened so fast and I thought it was really dumb because I used to always laugh at Michael and Luke because _God they we’re so cheesy._ They still are.

Ironic because now I find myself wanting all those things, to go on dates to concerts and to kiss and to cuddle and all those stupid things – I find myself wanting to do them with _you._

Because every fucking time I look at you I see the sun and feel the warmth you radiate even if you’re metres away and I just want to touch you, to hold you, but I know I’ll get burnt because unless I’m the moon I don’t think this will ever work.

I don’t want to make this letter too long because if I do ~~you might not read it~~ you might feel uneasy because I know what I’m feeling isn’t requited and even though that hurts a little, just a smidgen, I can deal with it. I just ~~want~~ need you to know that I love you.

I’ve been _in love_ with you for over a year and half and I know that if I don’t tell you now, the regret of not doing so will probably eat away at me for years because I’ve never fallen this hard, this fast, _this_ _deep_ for anyone ever but you, Ashton Irwin, you are the only exception and I’m aware that it seems like I’m quoting Paramore now but I’m not, I promise you.

You don’t need to reply to this. Just ~~don’t~~ _please don’t laugh at me because if you do I’m afraid that I might break all over again and this time you won’t be here to help pick up the pieces and glue me back together._

 **–Calum** (your 'pup' _\- And if all else, our friendship, bursts then dissipates like an interstellar explosion I hope this will remain, I hope I will remain in your memory; if only in the form of a nickname long forgotten..._ ) _  
_

**Author's Note:**

> tried to make it sorta slightly realistic?? kinda failed tho hahah :') also there could be a part two to this??? idk


End file.
